Fixing Loose Lips
Thanks To SO For The Use Of Her Cartoon!
Garth George: The Great-Grandfather Of NZ Journalism
Garth George, allegedly the only nonagenarian working in New Zealand journalism, reminds me somewhat of Victor Muldrew from One Foot In The Grave, longing for a return to the good ol’ days while the world continues to move forward without him. Poor guy. The latest issue to get Garth’s Y-fronts in a knot is the controversy surrounding the “secret” recordings made at National’s recent conference. Decrying this incident in today’s Herald, Garth says:
“Politics in New Zealand, despicable as it has been for decades, has reached a new low with the secret taping of private conversations at last weekend’s National Party conference”
Well actually Garth, I thought that low would have been reached when National’s mates the Exclusive Brethren decided to wage a secret campaign against Labour at the last election. Or when National’s mates the Exclusive Brethren paid private investigators to follow Helen Clark and dig up dirt on her. Or when National’s mate Ian Wishart launched his vicious attack on Helen Clark and her husband. Or when secret recordings of Mike Williams were made at Labour’s election congress earlier this year. But then again, it is well known that, like the National Party, geriatrics do have a relatively short and selective memory, so we’ll let you off for that one Garth.
Garth then takes a swipe at those media scoundrels, even his own employer, saying:
“And why the media, including this newspaper, would deign to use word for word such questionable material, and in addition do their damnedest to attribute to the victims, deputy leader Bill English and party veteran Lockwood Smith, some hidden and sinister political programme”
It seems that under that stern exterior, Mr George has a rather soft spot for poor National Party MPs caught, albeit “questionably”, lying to the public. They are, after all, simply “victims” of some bigger scheme to ensure the public is properly informed before they decide New Zealand’s next government. Garth then rambles and rants a bit about “principles”, “turncoats”, “odiums” and other such 17th century phenomena, before finishing up with a nice little anecdote from MacBeth.
You’ve certainly earned your super wine biscuit and afternoon nap today, Garth. Good on ya mate!
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The Truth Really Does Hurt……If You’re National
Having had a couple of days to think things over, John Key has gone on the attack over the “secret” recordings of Bill English and Lockwood Smith telling the truth at National’s annual conference over the weekend. On Breakfast this morning, Key tried to shift the focus from the content of the recordings to the fact they were made in the first place. He first tried to blame Young Labour, saying they tried to “infiltrate” the conference (which wouldn’t be all that hard – just put on a suit and act like an arrogant wanker and even Key himself would think you’d been a supporter for life) . Next he tried to pin it all on Helen Clark and Nicky Hager. Then, showing his desperation to make this whole issue go away, Key suggested the tapes might not be “actually sort of completely real”, afterall there are many Bill English imposters out there.
Of course the real issue here is that National has clearly been lying to the public and continues to do so, and it is somewhat ironic that Key has assured voters that he would be an accountable Prime Minister, yet has failed to take any responsibility for National’s indiscretions. And as if to confirm that National has an outbreak of “the lies” within its caucus, Key stated this afternoon:
“We don’t speak in sound bites, we don’t speak in press releases but effectively if every single word you say is going to be recorded then that’s the way you have to speak.”
Now, John Key knows as well as anyone that sound bites and press releases are all the public has had from National for the past year or so; after all, it is the golden rule of the Crosby-Textor handbook. Key also indicated National may complain to the police over the recordings, and they are already picking through video surveillance of the conference in an effort to reveal the culprit. This simply begs the question: why was National secretly recording their own delegates? Seems even National doesn’t trust its own.
In a display of hypocrisy, Key also called on Helen Clark to take some responsibility and state publicly whether or not she condones “secret” recordings. That is quite ironic given Key did no such thing when secret recordings of Mike Williams were circulating earlier this year. In fact, his deputy made the following statements at the time:
“Mike Williams has been caught red-handed saying one thing behind closed doors and another thing to the public…Mr Williams can’t be relied on to tell the public the truth, yet Helen Clark is defending him. This is an indictment on her judgment.”
That is the ultimate proof that National is nothing but a bunch of lying hypocrites.
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National Plays Follow The (Deputy) Leader
It seems Lockwood Smith has taken a leaf out of Bill English’s book and has decided to use some “loose language” as well. Tonight TV3 released a “secret” recording of Lockwood at National’s conference over the weekend and like English, he too lets the truth slip out. Of particular interest was the following comment he made:
“If you try to do everything differently you’ll scare the horses and under MMP it’s very hard to win.”
So is it simply a coincidence then that John Key announced one of his 10 priorities should he become Prime Minister is to hold a referendum on MMP?
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Bill English Translated
For a party that paints itself as honest, it certainly is strange that the National hierarchy has forced Bill English to apologise for telling the truth. Anyway, we all know Bill doesn’t say what he means in public, so his apology today needs some translating:
What Bill Said: “Statements of mine secretly recorded at a social function last Friday and published over the weekend have caused confusion and concern about National’s policy on Kiwibank and Working for Families”
What Bill Meant: We scared the voters.
What Bill Said: “I did not choose my words well”
What Bill Meant: I told the truth.
What Bill Said: “We have worked for several years to find a better way of allowing families to keep their own income”
What Bill Meant: We tried to come up with our own policies
What Bill Said: “We opted to retain the existing structure because we were not willing to create uncertainty for families under pressure. If we are elected we will work to improve the system for families without reducing entitlements”
What Bill Meant: But Labour’s were too damn good!
What Bill Said: “With respect to Kiwibank, I shouldn’t have made the comments I made. National has had no discussions about Kiwibank and has no plans to sell it”
What Bill Meant: I departed from Crosby-Textor guidelines. Crosby-Textor says National has had no discussions about Kiwibank and has no plans to sell it.
What Bill Said: “Comments I made regarding the complexity of WFF have been construed as criticism of John Key. That is wrong.”
What Bill Meant: John’s really really smart. Honestly!
What Bill Said: “My repeated responses to this question yesterday reflected my determination not to widen the debate – not an attempt to criticize John Key”
What Bill Meant: I was just trying to stick to Crosby-Textor guidelines. Crosby-Textor say John is really really smart. Honestly!
What Bill Said: “I should have made it clear that I meant no such criticism and I’m making that clear today”
What Bill Meant: John’s worried I’ll pull another 2002. I should just have kept lying.
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Espiner On National
Guyon Espiner has a good piece in this month’s North&South, taking a look at what a National government may look like if they are successful in this year’s general election. Espiner quite rightly points out that National still has a large number of MPs who were part of the 1990s National administration that pushed through many far right policies:
“Say these names aloud: Nick Smith, Maurice Williamson, Lockwood Smith, Tony Ryall, Tau Henare, Georgina te Heuheu, Clem Simich, David Carter, Bill English and Murray McCully. If those names sound eerily familiar it’s because they were all ministers in the 1990s National-led government that New Zealanders were thoroughly sick of by the end of that decade.”
It is hard to imagine a National government in which these MPs would not play a significant part, and that should be worrying given their role in National’s policy agenda during the 1990s. Indeed, Espiner makes exactly that point when he says:
“The trouble for National is that many of those with ministerial experience are the same ones who were pushing for the far right agenda which found the party so off-side with middle New Zealand last time they occupied the Beehive”.
I am very sceptical that, given such personalities still being present in the National Party caucus, National can really pursue a more centrist agenda post-election. Espiner mentions two such personalities. Of Lockwood Smith, Espiner says:
“Lockwood Smith, if he had his way, would end nuclear free policy by morning tea time”
This would appear impossible given Key’s emphatic affirmation of New Zealand’s current nuclear free policy and his assurances that the status quo will continue under any National government he leads, but that may change once National is in power.
Then on Tony Ryall, Espiner states:
“Jenny Shipley used to joke that she had to check daily with State Owned Enterprise Minister Tony Ryall to see which assets he’d sold”
National has been trying to stay clear of any policy announcements on privatisation, but their slow response to the Government’s moves to block the sale of Auckland Airport indicates that their 1990’s agenda is still alive and well. Although this is unlikely to be a portfolio managed by Ryall, his deceitfulness over National’s plans to remove the cap on doctor’s fees shows he is not to be trusted.
All in all, a supposedly fresh, new National government would still contain many of the worn, old faces of the 90s, and New Zealanders need to decide whether they want to keep moving forward with Labour, or return to the 1990s with National.
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