Kiwiblog And Cows
Kiwiblog has this rather entertaining post using cows to explain economic models:
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows, The State takes both and sells you some milk..
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
Noting that capitalism is missing, I think the following should be included in the interests of fairness:
CAPITALISM: You own pretty much all of the cows. In an effort to avoid tax, one of them is taken to Wellington to shit all over the steps of Parliament.
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The Real Cost Of Cheese
Thanks To SO For The Use Of Her Cartoon!
Bill English Translated
For a party that paints itself as honest, it certainly is strange that the National hierarchy has forced Bill English to apologise for telling the truth. Anyway, we all know Bill doesn’t say what he means in public, so his apology today needs some translating:
What Bill Said: “Statements of mine secretly recorded at a social function last Friday and published over the weekend have caused confusion and concern about National’s policy on Kiwibank and Working for Families”
What Bill Meant: We scared the voters.
What Bill Said: “I did not choose my words well”
What Bill Meant: I told the truth.
What Bill Said: “We have worked for several years to find a better way of allowing families to keep their own income”
What Bill Meant: We tried to come up with our own policies
What Bill Said: “We opted to retain the existing structure because we were not willing to create uncertainty for families under pressure. If we are elected we will work to improve the system for families without reducing entitlements”
What Bill Meant: But Labour’s were too damn good!
What Bill Said: “With respect to Kiwibank, I shouldn’t have made the comments I made. National has had no discussions about Kiwibank and has no plans to sell it”
What Bill Meant: I departed from Crosby-Textor guidelines. Crosby-Textor says National has had no discussions about Kiwibank and has no plans to sell it.
What Bill Said: “Comments I made regarding the complexity of WFF have been construed as criticism of John Key. That is wrong.”
What Bill Meant: John’s really really smart. Honestly!
What Bill Said: “My repeated responses to this question yesterday reflected my determination not to widen the debate – not an attempt to criticize John Key”
What Bill Meant: I was just trying to stick to Crosby-Textor guidelines. Crosby-Textor say John is really really smart. Honestly!
What Bill Said: “I should have made it clear that I meant no such criticism and I’m making that clear today”
What Bill Meant: John’s worried I’ll pull another 2002. I should just have kept lying.
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Flip-Flop Key
It seems John Key is certainly living up to his title of “Master of Flip-Flops”, as this photo of his Kumeu electorate office clearly shows. Nice to see the Leader of the Opposition being honest with the public for once, and in such shameless fashion too!
